Wrapping Up

So I'm in the last few days of my self imposed prohibition. Ironically I cannot remember the last time my mind was so clear. For better or worse my brain has been operating almost 3 months without the interference of alcohol or card induced dopamine. Yet somehow I just feel....good.

I've had plenty of time to prioritize, exercise and realize. So what have I learned?

I've learned that willpower is incredibly simple. As easy as flipping on a light switch, or rather flipping off a switch. I've been reminded of how disgustingly hypocritical this world is. Without the many distractions that used to fill my life I've been able to see things and people for what they really are. Petty, self-serving, judgmental, close-minded, cowardly, arrogant and not in the least bit childish. Because I think that childish should among the highest of compliments.

Children are full of life, hopes, dreams and potential. They are devoid of the litany of neuroses and prejudices which plague adults to no end. When faced with an obstacle, children figure out a way around it while the adults fumble with their blackberry's contact list for a contractor, a lawyer, or both. Children know no limits. That's they beauty of it.

But back to people as we know them. Miserable lot I tell you, just plain miserable. The economic crisis is blamed on entitlement, lack of accountability, transparency and oversight. Big banks, Wall St., Bush, oil, Bush 2, mortgage brokers, etc. etc. But ultimately the blame is inexcusably shared by each and every one of us. The American dream is predicated upon the attainment of more for less. More house for less money, more money for less work, more work for fewer people. We've outsourced a lot more than software programmers and customer call centers. The American dream became universal and now we're paying the price.

I've said time and time again that if you have shit on your plate then you must have ordered it. That's a sweeping generalization that doesn't apply to X!!! Because you have a friend and X happened to them and they never wanted X to happen. Well ladies and gentlemen you can take your X and shove it up your Y. Hopefully that will stop the white noise from coming out. People create their own problems! Don't cry to me about the evil in Darfur or the huts of Dharavi. Just because you can spell Janjaweed and watched Slumdog Millionaire 10 times doesn't mean you understand suffering. I don't pretend to and I don't want to.

The overwhelming majority of you who are reading this live pretty damn good lives. Yet I'm sure each and every one of you also has plenty of problems. You can fix them. If they remain unfixed it is because you choose not to fix them. If the problem cannot be fixed then it isn't a problem, it just is. Dwelling on it only makes you all the more illogical.

So 3 months without a glass of Johnnie and I've become even more of an ass?

I think so.

Here's some heartfelt honesty that I don't usually share with the public. Since you've made it this far I think you deserve a little consideration. I am very aware of my own choices. I have had a lot of time to contemplate them. Granted the contemplation has often occurred after the choice was made, but there always is a whole mess of contemplating.

I hold no illusions about the way I live my life and I will offer NO apology for it. I do the things I do because I want to. I do not expect others to follow, forgive, nor understand. Not because it is overly complex, but rather because it is so simple it makes Ockham's razor look like a Rubik's cube marked with sub-prime derivatives instead of colors.

I treat those I like with the utmost sincerity and generosity. I treat those I don't like with courtesy. I share my convictions freely, but only when asked. I will not sacrifice a good joke for the sake of propriety and I will not take a difference of opinion as a personal insult. I believe that life is simultaneously fleeting and yet all too long which is why I don't have time for your bullshit, but plenty of time to luxuriate 29 stories above the desert watching the lights twinkle even if there's work to be done.

I earn it. I burn it.

People have to stop pretending that "I am a selfless saint doesn't begin with 'I' ". Motivated self interest makes the world go round, the sooner we accept that, the sooner things will get better.

Now someone find me a bottle of King George V.