View from the top of the V

For the uninitiated the "V" is a pictographic representation of the cycle of compulsive behavior and it can apply to just about any addiction.

The "V"

For many the V is a wholly inaccurate depiction, the WWWWWWWWWWW would be far more accurate. Having gone through my fair share of this unpleasant roller coaster, I finally find myself in the right place. People don't like to hear good news. In fact it has become almost vulgar to announce good news because it just makes you a target for those who need to validate their own endless shortcomings by ridiculing and belittling the achievements of others. Well vulgarity be damned, I clawed my way up here tooth and nail, kicking and screaming the whole way and well gosh darn it I intend to make some noise about it.

I have taken a machete to the dead weight in my life and made things extremely simple. I go to the gym, I go to work, I go to the bank and I go home. I have distanced myself from drama, negativity, and self destructive behavior. I have learned how to say NO. I have learned to distinguish between friends and acquaintances, assets and liabilities, family and family. I am on track to retire by 30 and spend even more time writing about things that people don't want to hear.

What is that I hear?

Lies! Impossible! He must be depressed. What is he really up to? Why is he trying so hard to hide the fact that he's miserable? Nobody could actually enjoy living that life, he's so full of shit. We'll see how long he lasts. He'll be back at the bottom of the V in no time. Well sure if I did it THAT way then I'd be fine and dandy too. It'll never work just wait and see.

Well doubt is ingrained in human nature and I am not immune.

Alas there is a conflict. (Aha! shout the masses)

Having put everything I want into place I find myself somewhat bored. The only thing that I can do now is create problems for myself either by getting into trouble or by tackling another person's trouble. When the hustle and bustle of life's endless petty issues have finally been resolved the resulting silence is deafening. I find myself slightly confused in these quiet moments at the end of the day. There is nothing more that I can do for the day except go to sleep or go stir up some trouble.

I have achieved peace, balance and clarity and I even accept that this equilibrium is bound to be disturbed by events beyond my control, but I also know that I will eventually return to this baseline. So I guess I'm here at wwwwwwww------------------

------. Temptation hovers at the periphery like a horde of barbarians lurking in the woods just beyond the gate. I suppose it's only a matter of time before they make a concerted charge, but until then I'll just enjoy the peace and do my part to keep those gates sealed.