Insomnia

11 days into this new year/decade and I find myself unable to sleep. This is an extremely unusual occurrence Sleep usually brings a measure of peace that is quite unattainable during the day. But there is no great mystery to tonight's bout of restlessness. I took a nap earlier and now my body thinks Monday is well underway.

2009 was a banner year for introspection, reflection and correction. It was a great way to cap off a decade that transformed from a friendly and naive college freshman to a scotch swilling freewheeling compulsive gambler to a more subdued scotch sipping, mildly compulsive dabbler.

So what does a long winded weary soul think about on a night when sleep remains elusive?

The past, the present, the future, the universe, poker, vacation, villas, condos, FHA, rentals, leases, Alessandra Ambrosio, Aston Martins, errands, banks, skiing, facebook notes, cleaning, moving, sleeping, waking, and all sorts of random things that keep bouncing around unsolicited.

What's in store for 2010?

Growth. Unrestricted growth. Personal, financial, intellectual, professional, emotional and maybe even spiritual. I've spent the last couple of years figuring out how to stop dying and how to stop killing myself. Now it's time to apply those hard earned and hard learned lessons into everyday life. I have culled toxic habits, hobbies and people from my world. So much so in fact that it leaves me a little worried.

Having removed all barriers to my success I have left one very crucial area exposed. Failure at this juncture would leave only one person culpable. That would be me. Accountability. What a novel concept. Taking responsibility and control of the direction my life is headed leaves me with a dizzying sense of freedom. It's very empowering. I'm also getting very tired. But there is a slight twinge of euphoria in fatigue. Strange how the mind works.

What else is in store for 2010?

Fun. Lots and lots of fun. The biggest benefit of growth is the ability to have more fun. Personal growth allows you to have fun on days you're doing what you have to do, even if you don't want to. Emotional growth allows you to have fun even when you should be miserable, professional growth allows you to have fun at work, intellectual growth allows you to have fun overcoming problems that stupefy other. Last and most certainly not least, financial growth allows you to have fun anytime anywhere.

So where is the fun going to occur?

January- Los Angeles/Las Vegas for a week of much needed downtime

March- the big 2-8. I'm thinking palm trees and rum

June- A few more palm trees and a couple of infinity pools

July- WSOP 2010. A chip, a chair and a prayer

September- Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong and Macau

November- WSOP final table? Dream big right? lol

December- A really big boat


Now in between all of these excursions there will be lots of work and very little play. But then again work is play, play is play. I think I'm going to go to bed happy.


Now I understand why people seek conflict and drama in their lives. When you take a step back and simply stop doing the things that make you unhappy and then you take another step back and stop letting other people's problems become your own and then take yet another step back and stop caring about what people think about you and why they so desperately want you to fail. All of a sudden you find yourself awake at 2am early on a Monday morning with a bemused smile on your face typing on Facebook and realizing that angst and strife make for much better writing.

I'll leave the good writing to someone else.